So, one of the things I have been pondering lately is the friending of spouses. Once you go to the trouble of finding a spouse suddenly all these people come out of the woodwork and want to friend you. Whose overtures and invites to friendship do you accept?
It is awkward on the other end too. I has found myself friending spouses I have never met or at least wanting to on occasion but refraining because it might seem weird.
It is not just the Facebook phenomena but also in real life too. How much of a friend are you supposed to be to the spouse of your good friend.
What is the protocol?
It is tricky to navigate. At one level such overtures from a spouse to a friend could seem overprotective. Domineering. In some circumstances it might seem sweet - taking an interest in those your spouse cares for.
But then you create a triangle and potential problems. What if your friend now bitches about the spouse you have become friends with. Whose side do you take? What if you realize after spending just a little time with your spouse's friend you recognize how toxic he or she is - do you say anything?
Then there's the insecurity that these two might become better friends with each other than they are with you!
In "How I Met Your Mother", Lily used to have a front porch swing test for the people Ted was dating. Would she want to sit on the front porch together when they were old? Lily went so far as to sabotage any relationships Ted would have with women who didn't fit her vision of the future.
Making friendships - any relationships - entails a certain amount of risk. But which folks should immediate red flags of danger rise?
Something to continue to ponder..