So, I had to make a difficult decision recently. For the most part, I know I made the right decision, and I feel relief. But at the same time, I am already feeling like a little puppy with my nose to the glass and wanting back inside.
Being active in my community has been one of the ways in which I have strived to increase my social opportunities in town. I'm not sure whether either of the things I volunteer for actually do much for me socially, but at least they provide me something to do.
I have mentioned before that I'm active in my church. I prepare the church bulletins, and have been the overall administrator of much of the day-to-day minutiae. This past month, the members of my church (foolishly) elected me to be the lay leader of the church - the head of our governing board. I've been hinting here and there about it, primarily on Twitter, and telling a few individuals about it, but mostly letting it sink in before sharing it.
I am honored, certainly, by the confidence they have in me to do this - although I do also respect and understand that a part of it was that no-one else was foolish enough to take it on. But the last month or so I have gotten excited, and enthusiastic, and been brainstorming and inspired and all sorts of good things. Really good things. We're going through a transition, and there's a lot to be done. I've already been meeting with lots of folks in the church and getting an idea what makes them love our church, and where they feel a passion and a calling. All good stuff.
I have also been more than just a soccer coach. For the last two years, I've served on the Rec league's board. Mostly I did it so they wouldn't forget me when it came time to recruit coaches since I had been an assistant coach for my best friend's daughter's team, and I don't have any kids myself. But I really enjoyed it. Our board is under "staffed" and so each board member took on several roles. So, in addition to coaching, I ran the concessions stand, helped with the candy drive, and was director for a league.
This season was a bit overwhelming. And I was grumpy for reasons outside of soccer, and finding myself constantly pulled away from being able to coach my kids. Which was the fun part. So, near the end of the season - technically before I even knew about the church responsibility - I was considering taking a break. I was feeling burned out, and I wanted to just coach. With the new church responsibility, I had a good excuse I could use to gracefully back out for a couple of years (or longer, we'll see....) from the soccer responsibility.
Tonight was our soccer "banquet" for coaches, refs, team parents, board members, etc. And our elections for the following year's board. The board is light, and I felt a pang to want to help out - there were almost as many empty slots as there were people who filled them in - seven people and five remaining open slots. I did resist, and for the most part, I am glad I did. But I have enjoyed being a part of the team, and a part of me will miss that. They know I'm available to help, but they also know many others who have offered to be available not really follow through to be there, and once I'm no longer obligated to get up at 9 AM on a cold winter Saturday morning to winterize the field, I'm less likely to do it.
So, tonight is bittersweet. A bit of relief, a bit of sadness. One woman offered (unsolicited) about what a wonderful coach I was and how much her daughter had enjoyed having me as coach. Those accolades are always nice. So I'll stick to the good things, and let go of the less pleasant things, and we'll go from there.
Showing posts with label soccer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soccer. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
A Plan?
A friend of mine asked me yesterday if I had a "plan" set for what I am going to do with myself after the contract ends. A plan? I facetiously asked...? What? Doesn't she read this blog religiously? I'm going to make sure my sink is clean before I go to bed at night. Other than that, what kind of plan do I need?
Later, by Twitter, I mentioned how I felt like I was sitting around waiting for something great to happen. And she chimed in how I shouldn't wait, I needed to out there and make it happen. To which I gave a harvesting analogy and insisted I had planted seeds. She believed me.
And I have... Don't get me wrong.
But she is poking atthe bear issues I have concerns about myself. Gently - or perhaps not so gently - making sure I won't devolve into a glob of blubber when the contract ends. I think she's afraid I will sit at home all day in my bed watching re-runs of Love Boat that I recently discovered on You Tube (that song is IMPOSSIBLE to get out of your head, so I don't recommend it... But, oh, that Doc, he is so funny (NOT!)). And her fears aren't entirely unjustified. Although I'll probably also catch up on some of the bloggers I'm friends with on Twitter and now here. And maybe find creative ways to enhance and improve my blog. And maybe I'll start a doll head collection. Okay, NOT to the last one.
And I won't be starting a Vision Board or likely a Pinterest account either, although I'm a little wary to say the last one because that pretty much is what I said about Twitter all this time, and we see what happened THERE!
But she's right. I know she's right. (Is there a way to block one single person from reading a single post? I mean I don't need her to spend the rest of today, this week, lording it over me that I said that she was right, do I? No... I mean, she'd favorite the shit out of this post, and return to it every day just to see that I said she was right... Wait... that might help my statistics, though.... If you found this post from the right hand side, well.... you'll know that I already regret it! Kidding!)
I do need a plan to make sure I don't just burrow deeply into my bed and never emerge except for soccer and to get the church bulletin done. Particularly because there's only another month to soccer, so that won't last too long.
Do I have one? No. Not entirely. Not much at all. Except a recognition that I want there to be some structure to my days. Something in particular I accomplish each day. Incremental work on other things. I don't want to simply burrow into my bed (although it is nice and comfortable) and get lost. That's the start of a plan, right?
In the meantime, though, it's early-ish in the morning and I need to hit the shower and get this project done first. Right now, THAT's my plan. Once that's done, I can concentrate on the other. For now, that's my plan. Okay? Okay.
Later, by Twitter, I mentioned how I felt like I was sitting around waiting for something great to happen. And she chimed in how I shouldn't wait, I needed to out there and make it happen. To which I gave a harvesting analogy and insisted I had planted seeds. She believed me.
And I have... Don't get me wrong.
But she is poking at
And I won't be starting a Vision Board or likely a Pinterest account either, although I'm a little wary to say the last one because that pretty much is what I said about Twitter all this time, and we see what happened THERE!
But she's right. I know she's right. (Is there a way to block one single person from reading a single post? I mean I don't need her to spend the rest of today, this week, lording it over me that I said that she was right, do I? No... I mean, she'd favorite the shit out of this post, and return to it every day just to see that I said she was right... Wait... that might help my statistics, though.... If you found this post from the right hand side, well.... you'll know that I already regret it! Kidding!)
I do need a plan to make sure I don't just burrow deeply into my bed and never emerge except for soccer and to get the church bulletin done. Particularly because there's only another month to soccer, so that won't last too long.
Do I have one? No. Not entirely. Not much at all. Except a recognition that I want there to be some structure to my days. Something in particular I accomplish each day. Incremental work on other things. I don't want to simply burrow into my bed (although it is nice and comfortable) and get lost. That's the start of a plan, right?
In the meantime, though, it's early-ish in the morning and I need to hit the shower and get this project done first. Right now, THAT's my plan. Once that's done, I can concentrate on the other. For now, that's my plan. Okay? Okay.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Cleats Hurt...
In case I forgot this basic rule of soccer, my little girls last night reminded me that, indeed, cleats do hurt when it is YOUR foot underneath them. In case you've forgotten from the way long ago post "So Who Am I?", item number twelve was "I am a soccer coach."
But given that it was February when I wrote that, soccer wasn't one of the foremost topics on my mind to write about, so I'm not sure I've mentioned it since. But soccer practices have started and soccer games will begin in a few weeks. Between now and the end of October, I will have soccer on the brain.
Now you're probably wondering why a childless cube shaped Borg is coaching soccer, and frankly the answer is that I was trapped. A friend of mine with a seven year old daughter coached her daughter's team two years ago and asked me if I would be the assistant coach. I loved her daughter like my own, and enjoyed this friend's company very much, so the answer was a no-brainer.
And then, just as practices were beginning two years ago, her husband got a really great job opportunity in another state and before the season was over, she was gone, and I was head coach. And, I was hooked.
To be clear, I didn't know much about soccer, having last played it seriously in my pee wee league days at 4 years old. I understood there was a black and white round ball that you kicked towards the net. I can't say two years later I necessarily know much more about the sport (okay, maybe a wee bit more), but I coach 6/7 year old girls, and the good news is that I don't need to know much more.
What I really need to know most at this age is that young girls' self esteem is starting to grow. And the likelihood that I am going to coach the next Mia Hamm (or whoever the great women's soccer stars are these days) is slim. But what I do have an opportunity to do is give these girls a fun time and help them learn a few life lessons.
I know I have a lot of Mamas who read my blog, and you can probably provide me much greater insight into the psyche of a young girl (and please feel free to add below in the comments), but I'll share a few things I've noticed.
First of all, I have been pretty fortunate to have some really great parents who stick around and hang out for their kids' practice. Maybe leaving their kids with the Borg is a little frightening - assimilation at such a young age - but I do think that these parents are invested in their children's lives. Even if some of them are absorbed in a book or a phone on the sideline. I can still call over to a parent to come on the field to help, and get some active volunteers.
At age six/seven, kids are like an overly absorbent sponge for attention. They can never seem to get enough, and I'm sure their parents are worn down after a long summer's day of trying to entertain them. Any personalized attention they get they soak up faster than you realize and are ready to absorb more, and yet, sometimes keeping their attention in a group setting is not always easy.
They're still new to each other and new to making friends so watching them interact with each other and get to know each other - or recognize - Wait! I know that girl... - is fun to watch. Teaching them that they are a team, and that they are now the same, and not other is also important. This is no longer that girl from the other class, or even from the other team of the sport you just played. This girl is now YOUR team-mate. She is part of "you" - at least the you on the field. (See, I teach assimilation - resistance IS futile).
The first session I always forget how very shy they are. We want the kids to be able to call to each other from across the field to tell them to pass to them, or warn them that they are passing, but on the very first session their voice barely raises above a whisper and can hardly be heard more than a few feet away. Fortunately by Week 2, I have no trouble hearing them!
Few, if any, of the girls are only children, and so often they are fighting within the family for attention, too. Here, on my team, they gain nine more sisters. Or so I hope...
The words I hope that come out of my lips the most during practice are "Great job!" And hopefully along with it, I am using their (correct) name, so they know I am talking to THEM. I encourage enthusiasm, I encourage attitude (good attitude, let's be clear), I encourage effort. I encourage fun. I encourage good sportsmanship. I try, my best, to encourage them.
It goes back to "Sticks & Stones" (maybe there's a reason it's one of the favorites). They hear the negative, just like us adults, ten times louder than the good. So I encourage them with the good. Now, of course, when they start to get too full of themselves, or when they start to put down their other team-mates, I am quick to nip that in the bud, too. I remind them that we are all trying our best, and that it's great they've figured out how to x or y, but their team-mate is learning, too. And to remember, that when they first tried it, it wasn't easy for them either.
Each girl does need special attention. Each girl is different. I have one little girl who is actually only 5 years old, and while the smallest on the team, she isn't the smallest by much. But it is easy for her to trip over her ball while running. She's got a great attitude, and a great smile, but she's shy and I think she knows she's the smallest and the youngest. I think she's doing great, but I try to take more time with her on the skills that the older girls have already practiced or gotten a little easier.
Another little girl is working her way into my heart. I think she is worried about falling over while trying to run and kick the ball, too, because I frequently (if not always) see her running with her arms out to the side as if she's trying to keep her balance. And it's hard to get her much faster than a walk. She's a bit shy, too, but I know better that these girls are often the ones that end up surprising me when the games start.
Really, you should never write off the little girls. They are usually amazingly fast and surprisingly good ball-handlers sometimes. On all three of my teams, the best ball handlers have actually been the small unassuming girls you'd never expect. At last night's practice, for example, while we were waiting for everyone to show, this tiny quiet little girl was dribbling around the field with me trying to take the ball away from her. She showed remarkable talent in maneuvering the ball and keeping it close to her. One of her team-mates noted last night after practice had started that she's "sneaky". While every girl will play every position during the games, at this level, there is no question that when I am looking for a powerful offensive team, she will be on that line-up.
I've probably gone down a side-road here as I start to think of each of my girls individually that is not nearly as exciting for you, my reader, as it is for me. But in this time of Olympic athletic wonder, it is important to remember that for most ordinary Americans, participating in youth sports will not lead us to Olympic Gold. But if we give our children the appropriate opportunities to excel and to learn and to build their self-esteem and to learn to work with others, they will have with them a life-time achievement much greater than Olympic gold.
I hope, at the end of the season, the girls have had fun, and want to come back. That is my goal. Not the wins, nor having the number of wins be greater than the losses (although last season it was nice to start with an undefeated season the first four or five games, and in my first season, we lost the first game, but won the next eleven... it helps!). But that they've learned to work together. They've learned to literally, and figuratively, shoot for a goal. They've learned to support each other, and they've learned not to be cruel to others. (There are no Terrell Owens' moments allowed on my field - we collectively celebrate a goal, but we do not rub it into the other teams' faces, and we are NOT nasty to the other team when they score a goal... ).
In one soccer coaching book I read, they claimed that kids never forget their soccer coaches, and remember them still as adults. I am not so vain to believe that is true - as I can't remember my soccer coach - but I do hope that what they walk away with is a positive experience that will yield more positive experiences as they grow. And that they remember, most importantly, that when they step on their coach's foot, that cleats hurt.
But given that it was February when I wrote that, soccer wasn't one of the foremost topics on my mind to write about, so I'm not sure I've mentioned it since. But soccer practices have started and soccer games will begin in a few weeks. Between now and the end of October, I will have soccer on the brain.
Now you're probably wondering why a childless cube shaped Borg is coaching soccer, and frankly the answer is that I was trapped. A friend of mine with a seven year old daughter coached her daughter's team two years ago and asked me if I would be the assistant coach. I loved her daughter like my own, and enjoyed this friend's company very much, so the answer was a no-brainer.
And then, just as practices were beginning two years ago, her husband got a really great job opportunity in another state and before the season was over, she was gone, and I was head coach. And, I was hooked.
To be clear, I didn't know much about soccer, having last played it seriously in my pee wee league days at 4 years old. I understood there was a black and white round ball that you kicked towards the net. I can't say two years later I necessarily know much more about the sport (okay, maybe a wee bit more), but I coach 6/7 year old girls, and the good news is that I don't need to know much more.
What I really need to know most at this age is that young girls' self esteem is starting to grow. And the likelihood that I am going to coach the next Mia Hamm (or whoever the great women's soccer stars are these days) is slim. But what I do have an opportunity to do is give these girls a fun time and help them learn a few life lessons.
I know I have a lot of Mamas who read my blog, and you can probably provide me much greater insight into the psyche of a young girl (and please feel free to add below in the comments), but I'll share a few things I've noticed.
First of all, I have been pretty fortunate to have some really great parents who stick around and hang out for their kids' practice. Maybe leaving their kids with the Borg is a little frightening - assimilation at such a young age - but I do think that these parents are invested in their children's lives. Even if some of them are absorbed in a book or a phone on the sideline. I can still call over to a parent to come on the field to help, and get some active volunteers.
At age six/seven, kids are like an overly absorbent sponge for attention. They can never seem to get enough, and I'm sure their parents are worn down after a long summer's day of trying to entertain them. Any personalized attention they get they soak up faster than you realize and are ready to absorb more, and yet, sometimes keeping their attention in a group setting is not always easy.
They're still new to each other and new to making friends so watching them interact with each other and get to know each other - or recognize - Wait! I know that girl... - is fun to watch. Teaching them that they are a team, and that they are now the same, and not other is also important. This is no longer that girl from the other class, or even from the other team of the sport you just played. This girl is now YOUR team-mate. She is part of "you" - at least the you on the field. (See, I teach assimilation - resistance IS futile).
The first session I always forget how very shy they are. We want the kids to be able to call to each other from across the field to tell them to pass to them, or warn them that they are passing, but on the very first session their voice barely raises above a whisper and can hardly be heard more than a few feet away. Fortunately by Week 2, I have no trouble hearing them!
Few, if any, of the girls are only children, and so often they are fighting within the family for attention, too. Here, on my team, they gain nine more sisters. Or so I hope...
The words I hope that come out of my lips the most during practice are "Great job!" And hopefully along with it, I am using their (correct) name, so they know I am talking to THEM. I encourage enthusiasm, I encourage attitude (good attitude, let's be clear), I encourage effort. I encourage fun. I encourage good sportsmanship. I try, my best, to encourage them.
It goes back to "Sticks & Stones" (maybe there's a reason it's one of the favorites). They hear the negative, just like us adults, ten times louder than the good. So I encourage them with the good. Now, of course, when they start to get too full of themselves, or when they start to put down their other team-mates, I am quick to nip that in the bud, too. I remind them that we are all trying our best, and that it's great they've figured out how to x or y, but their team-mate is learning, too. And to remember, that when they first tried it, it wasn't easy for them either.
Each girl does need special attention. Each girl is different. I have one little girl who is actually only 5 years old, and while the smallest on the team, she isn't the smallest by much. But it is easy for her to trip over her ball while running. She's got a great attitude, and a great smile, but she's shy and I think she knows she's the smallest and the youngest. I think she's doing great, but I try to take more time with her on the skills that the older girls have already practiced or gotten a little easier.
Another little girl is working her way into my heart. I think she is worried about falling over while trying to run and kick the ball, too, because I frequently (if not always) see her running with her arms out to the side as if she's trying to keep her balance. And it's hard to get her much faster than a walk. She's a bit shy, too, but I know better that these girls are often the ones that end up surprising me when the games start.
Really, you should never write off the little girls. They are usually amazingly fast and surprisingly good ball-handlers sometimes. On all three of my teams, the best ball handlers have actually been the small unassuming girls you'd never expect. At last night's practice, for example, while we were waiting for everyone to show, this tiny quiet little girl was dribbling around the field with me trying to take the ball away from her. She showed remarkable talent in maneuvering the ball and keeping it close to her. One of her team-mates noted last night after practice had started that she's "sneaky". While every girl will play every position during the games, at this level, there is no question that when I am looking for a powerful offensive team, she will be on that line-up.
I've probably gone down a side-road here as I start to think of each of my girls individually that is not nearly as exciting for you, my reader, as it is for me. But in this time of Olympic athletic wonder, it is important to remember that for most ordinary Americans, participating in youth sports will not lead us to Olympic Gold. But if we give our children the appropriate opportunities to excel and to learn and to build their self-esteem and to learn to work with others, they will have with them a life-time achievement much greater than Olympic gold.
I hope, at the end of the season, the girls have had fun, and want to come back. That is my goal. Not the wins, nor having the number of wins be greater than the losses (although last season it was nice to start with an undefeated season the first four or five games, and in my first season, we lost the first game, but won the next eleven... it helps!). But that they've learned to work together. They've learned to literally, and figuratively, shoot for a goal. They've learned to support each other, and they've learned not to be cruel to others. (There are no Terrell Owens' moments allowed on my field - we collectively celebrate a goal, but we do not rub it into the other teams' faces, and we are NOT nasty to the other team when they score a goal... ).
In one soccer coaching book I read, they claimed that kids never forget their soccer coaches, and remember them still as adults. I am not so vain to believe that is true - as I can't remember my soccer coach - but I do hope that what they walk away with is a positive experience that will yield more positive experiences as they grow. And that they remember, most importantly, that when they step on their coach's foot, that cleats hurt.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
So, who am I?
Believe me, I have thought about saying, I am the Borg. I have assimilated and the purpose of this blog is to assimilate you.
But that isn't true.
Or is it?
As I made the epic decision to try to do another blog (this is not my first anonymous blog, but hopefully it will be the one I stick with and the one that goes viral), I made this list in my head of all the things about me I needed to tell you. And I dramatically decided at the end, I would end it with "I am you." But I'm not.
Or I hope I'm not.
It's fun to find like-minded folks, and I hope to attract a lot of like-minded folks. But I doubt that there is someone who is as unique as me and who likes EVERYTHING that I do. I could be wrong.
I'm probably wrong.
But the reality is if you become a fan of this blog you will like a portion of the things I like and not necessarily all. My challenge will be to still keep you interested even when I'm talking about a subject you really don't care about.
So who am I?
Okay. Before I give you the list, I'll have to admit a bit of my neuroses. First, I wrote a list that I will qualify and say is not comprehensive. Then, afraid that the order in which I wrote things might suggest a priority in how I identify myself, I took the list that I had written as a stream of consciousness and then used an Excel formula for random numbers to order the list. #3 on the list is Geek.
Some of this list may make sense to no-one but me. But each one is worthy of its own post. If you want to know more, find the post.
1. I have a geographically diverse background
2. I live under a rock.
3. I am a geek.
4. I am currently single.
5. Zen is Borg and I love the Dalai Lama
6. I like country music.
7. I am a mystery / legal thriller fan.
8. I watch way too much television.
9. I love deeply.
10. I am active in my church.
11. I have a diverse working background.
12. I am a soccer coach.
13. I am a wee bit narsissitic - at least to the extent you need to be to write a blog.
14. I live alone.
15. I am a dyke.
16. I live in a small town.
17. I live in a poor part of town.
18. I watch a lot of Hulu.
19. I am an iPhone, Facebook and PC user, but I have owned a Mac, too.
20. I love the Superbowl for the commercials.
21. I have/am ADD.
22. I enjoy Texts From Last Night, Idiot Runner, The Bloggess, FlyLady, George Takei and advice columnists.
23. I love to line dance.
24. I am neither politically correct or incorrect. I just am. I do not belong to a political party, either. I am registered as an independent.
This is by no means comprehensive, but gives you a brief introduction. Interested? Read on. Tell your friends. Leave me comments. Adore me. Assimillate.
Resistance is futile.
-----------------------------
If you like this, stick around and read other entries. Hit a few on the right that are favorites, or go to the home page of the blog, and read from beginning to end. Take a moment to send me some feedback. Thanks for coming. Please come back soon.
But that isn't true.
Or is it?
As I made the epic decision to try to do another blog (this is not my first anonymous blog, but hopefully it will be the one I stick with and the one that goes viral), I made this list in my head of all the things about me I needed to tell you. And I dramatically decided at the end, I would end it with "I am you." But I'm not.
Or I hope I'm not.
It's fun to find like-minded folks, and I hope to attract a lot of like-minded folks. But I doubt that there is someone who is as unique as me and who likes EVERYTHING that I do. I could be wrong.
I'm probably wrong.
But the reality is if you become a fan of this blog you will like a portion of the things I like and not necessarily all. My challenge will be to still keep you interested even when I'm talking about a subject you really don't care about.
So who am I?
Okay. Before I give you the list, I'll have to admit a bit of my neuroses. First, I wrote a list that I will qualify and say is not comprehensive. Then, afraid that the order in which I wrote things might suggest a priority in how I identify myself, I took the list that I had written as a stream of consciousness and then used an Excel formula for random numbers to order the list. #3 on the list is Geek.
Some of this list may make sense to no-one but me. But each one is worthy of its own post. If you want to know more, find the post.
1. I have a geographically diverse background
2. I live under a rock.
3. I am a geek.
4. I am currently single.
5. Zen is Borg and I love the Dalai Lama
6. I like country music.
7. I am a mystery / legal thriller fan.
8. I watch way too much television.
9. I love deeply.
10. I am active in my church.
11. I have a diverse working background.
12. I am a soccer coach.
13. I am a wee bit narsissitic - at least to the extent you need to be to write a blog.
14. I live alone.
15. I am a dyke.
16. I live in a small town.
17. I live in a poor part of town.
18. I watch a lot of Hulu.
19. I am an iPhone, Facebook and PC user, but I have owned a Mac, too.
20. I love the Superbowl for the commercials.
21. I have/am ADD.
22. I enjoy Texts From Last Night, Idiot Runner, The Bloggess, FlyLady, George Takei and advice columnists.
23. I love to line dance.
24. I am neither politically correct or incorrect. I just am. I do not belong to a political party, either. I am registered as an independent.
This is by no means comprehensive, but gives you a brief introduction. Interested? Read on. Tell your friends. Leave me comments. Adore me. Assimillate.
Resistance is futile.
-----------------------------
If you like this, stick around and read other entries. Hit a few on the right that are favorites, or go to the home page of the blog, and read from beginning to end. Take a moment to send me some feedback. Thanks for coming. Please come back soon.
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