So, I had to make a difficult decision recently. For the most part, I know I made the right decision, and I feel relief. But at the same time, I am already feeling like a little puppy with my nose to the glass and wanting back inside.
Being active in my community has been one of the ways in which I have strived to increase my social opportunities in town. I'm not sure whether either of the things I volunteer for actually do much for me socially, but at least they provide me something to do.
I have mentioned before that I'm active in my church. I prepare the church bulletins, and have been the overall administrator of much of the day-to-day minutiae. This past month, the members of my church (foolishly) elected me to be the lay leader of the church - the head of our governing board. I've been hinting here and there about it, primarily on Twitter, and telling a few individuals about it, but mostly letting it sink in before sharing it.
I am honored, certainly, by the confidence they have in me to do this - although I do also respect and understand that a part of it was that no-one else was foolish enough to take it on. But the last month or so I have gotten excited, and enthusiastic, and been brainstorming and inspired and all sorts of good things. Really good things. We're going through a transition, and there's a lot to be done. I've already been meeting with lots of folks in the church and getting an idea what makes them love our church, and where they feel a passion and a calling. All good stuff.
I have also been more than just a soccer coach. For the last two years, I've served on the Rec league's board. Mostly I did it so they wouldn't forget me when it came time to recruit coaches since I had been an assistant coach for my best friend's daughter's team, and I don't have any kids myself. But I really enjoyed it. Our board is under "staffed" and so each board member took on several roles. So, in addition to coaching, I ran the concessions stand, helped with the candy drive, and was director for a league.
This season was a bit overwhelming. And I was grumpy for reasons outside of soccer, and finding myself constantly pulled away from being able to coach my kids. Which was the fun part. So, near the end of the season - technically before I even knew about the church responsibility - I was considering taking a break. I was feeling burned out, and I wanted to just coach. With the new church responsibility, I had a good excuse I could use to gracefully back out for a couple of years (or longer, we'll see....) from the soccer responsibility.
Tonight was our soccer "banquet" for coaches, refs, team parents, board members, etc. And our elections for the following year's board. The board is light, and I felt a pang to want to help out - there were almost as many empty slots as there were people who filled them in - seven people and five remaining open slots. I did resist, and for the most part, I am glad I did. But I have enjoyed being a part of the team, and a part of me will miss that. They know I'm available to help, but they also know many others who have offered to be available not really follow through to be there, and once I'm no longer obligated to get up at 9 AM on a cold winter Saturday morning to winterize the field, I'm less likely to do it.
So, tonight is bittersweet. A bit of relief, a bit of sadness. One woman offered (unsolicited) about what a wonderful coach I was and how much her daughter had enjoyed having me as coach. Those accolades are always nice. So I'll stick to the good things, and let go of the less pleasant things, and we'll go from there.