Monday, November 5, 2012

Amusing Spam...

And really, how can one begin to talk about amusing spam, without referencing Monty Python?  Surely, like me before this morning, it has been awhile (if ever) since you've seen this skit... "But I don't LIKE spam....!!!!!"

And it is a useful analogy - there in the cafe, it was impossible for the "woman" to get a meal without spam, so, too, it is impossible to blog without spam.

Spam, spam, spam, spam....

Now I haven't received THAT many spam comments - not like my friend Crooked Stamper, who has been commenting a lot on commenting that's spam, and wondering the great question that humans must ask: why?

(I think I got an eggs, bacon, spam, and sausage - it sounds like she got a spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam, spam order.  And really, shouldn't she be happy? I mean who doesn't like bacon? Don't they say it goes with EVERYTHING? ;) )

Blogger is pretty good at catching spam.  I admit it, now that I've seen a few, it follows a well-pat formula.  And I try to avoid, myself, inadvertently following its formula when I leave my own comments now.

When I first started my blog, I took all the security precautions, while trying to open it up as much as I could.  You can leave anonymous comments on here.  Partly that was because my friend Robin was the only one reading for awhile, and it made it easier for her to appear as if she were many people! ;) But I can respect the need / desire for one - particularly when first commenting - to be anonymous.  (And if I couldn't, well, then, we'd have a whole lot of other issues here, now wouldn't we?)

So, I have allowed anonymous commenting.  But, early on, I turned on captcha.  At least it would filter out the spam.  Ha ha! Gotcha!  It's like having sex with many partners but wearing an industrial strength condom.  Or so I'd think - since really, I know very little about condoms, and what little I have heard is that none are "industrial strength".  But I digress.

When I started to first get readers other than Robin, one of them politely mentioned that I'd snag MORE fish if I turned off captcha.  Is that more, then, like having an IUD, so that the boys don't need to wear a raincoat? Wait - this analogy is going way south! Sorry...

Although, let's face it, Spam is a lot like an STD.  More like that than an unwanted pregnancy, although, I do think that once the schemers have found you, they don't let you go.  I have two posts that were found early on by the Ukrainians - they are my top two most popular posts - and I have NO idea what they get from that post.  I wonder, sometimes, if some spammer has used MY two posts on ADD as an address for spam to someone else.  Given the inordinate amount of traffic to those posts, and the dearth - dry desert - of comments... I dunno.. something's going on there.

However, I wanted more fish (goodness, those mixed metaphors) so I turned off captcha a long time ago.  And have even given the advice to a few other blooming bloggers.

This morning, in my e-mail box, I received a comment from Anonymous.  I have learned - mostly - not to get too excited when I see a comment from Anonymous - I have learned that 9 times out of 10, it's spam.  And the spam folks are often quite creative.  It's a vague enough comment, often complimentary - soothing to the ego - followed by a polite, hey check out my website, and a link.  When Crooked Stamper finds out exactly what spammers get from this phishing (Hey, isn't that clever how it all circles back around, again? ;) ) she'll let me know, although I assume they get paid per click just like legitimate advertisers.  It's things like "Really great article... For more you should catch my friend's article...<insert link here>."  And if any of you have the answers for my friend Crooked Stamper, please feel free to leave them below - but, um, leave off your really helpful website, 'kay? 'Kay...

Now Blogger is a really good IUD, it seems.  Er, I mean, it's a really good filter for spam.  I honestly think that everything it's caught was spam, and everything it allowed to be published is not.  My first spam I scratched my head, but trusted Blogger's experience, and now that I have seen several more, I know with certainty it was right.

But today's e-mailed spam comment made me laugh given the nature of it, and given that I *don't* use captcha, and that Blogger is pretty easy to set up with it.  Oh, and that the comment, asking a question and looking for an answer, was anonymous.

Hi there! I know this is somewhat off topic but
I was wondering if you knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment
form? I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having difficulty finding one?
Thanks a lot!

Followed by a "My Page is..."

So, Mr. or Ms. Anonymous - here's the answer to your question:  Blogger has an interface for captcha so you don't need to install a plug-in.  :)

Glad I could help.

Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam... really - do click on the link above and have a moment's smile with Monty Python and the gang... It truly is amusing spam.


  1. Tee hee. Yeah, all we can think is they get paid per click, but "ugg boots" - seriously? Also, I've heard they look for the blog post with the most hits, so it's a self-perpetuating fatal embrace.

    Also, I've turned on Moderation for comments over 30 days (you can set that to any number of days you want), so I get to report them as spam, too.

    I do applaud Blogger for doing such an awesome job of not posting obvious spam. I yearn for the day when my email comment notification has a larger number of REAL comments than spammy ones. A girl can dream.

    1. Oh, yeah, I have the moderation setting on and set for seven days. A friend commented on an older post and then got all puffed up that I was moderating her comments. She lived. Her comment got published. I laughed a little.. ;)

      I agree on the point regarding popular posts - I and think that's what's going on with my ADD posts. Because my other ADD posts aren't *as* popular - so it's not just that ADD is a hot topic, although I know it is a little.. I've been half tempted to un-publish them just to see what happens, but probably won't.

  2. I love reading the bad google translate spam comments from somewhere in the far eastern part of europe and northern asia. google translate is some funny shit (which I have actually blogged about recently, but will not insert link here out of respect for your request to not link to my post here) ;-)

    1. Despite a wide Ukranian readership, I have NOT had those kinds of spal comments, yet. You can post your link! ;) I just wanted you to avoid having your spam filtered, er, comment filtered AS spam - Freudian slip there... ;)

  3. Blogger has blocked just a few comments as spam when they weren't, but it has never let any through that it shouldn't.

    I have gotten a few spam comments that were a little insulting. I don't know why they would ever take that approach, but they do.

    Others are just ridiculous. I use Blogger like you, which is obvious all over the page and the spammer will ask me what blogging platform I use. Or they will tell me that I provided some useful information when it was a post about how my kid used to puke all the time.

    1. How DID you make your kid puke all the time? Enquiring minds want to know! ;)

      I have left honest comments on a rabid political site (that I didn't realize was so rabid) that had a ranking system, and some folks ranked my comment as the gum that spam scrapes off its sneakers. (Okay, maybe that wasn't the category, but it might as well have been).

      So, the insulting comments may have been sincere, not spam, but just insulting. OR, just as likely, they realized that they might be more likely to incite a response if they poked at you..? Who knows... Not me.