Thursday, January 16, 2014

New Year... New Chapter?

It is a new year and therefore time to re dedicate myself to this blog, or admit that it has run its course and served its purpose. 

I wish I had the answers. 

I'd like to say that my life is not so interesting now; but the truth of the matter is that it wasn't that interesting before when I was prolific, so that is no excuse. 

I hate my laptop because it runs slow, runs hot, and likes to crash. And while that is a good reason to slow me down, I am typing this on the iPad and it isn't that evil to type on. It isn't as fast and it is riddled with a few more errors, but with practice I am sure I can gain speed. 

One reason I have given my wife - which she rejects, so I should too- is that writing about my life and observations means sharing or exposing parts of her life that she might want to keep private.  I continued to revolve around the anonymity theme because it gave me freedom to write about people in my life as though they were characters. It gave me room - poetic or more accurately narrative license - to embellish, exaggerate or mold their stories or actions to fit mine. They didn't read my blog so they couldn't be upset or hurt by my characterizations.

My wife assures me she is made of tougher stuff. 

And I do believe her. 

But I fear that a minor thread could be woven into something more. I have learned through experience that a careless word or sentence can hurt deeper than one might realize until it is too late. 

My ex had what we might politely refer to as self-esteem issues. To say that she didn't take criticism well would be quite the understatement. She didn't even take compliments well - always looking for some deeper hidden meaning. Rather hidden insult. Except to her, in her twisted mind, it wasn't hidden.  It was blatant. And she would never forget it.  It would eat away at her.

I wish I was kidding.  I wish I was exaggerating. And, again, in hindsight, she was mentally ill. 

But she was also human. And while she was overly sensitive, it is well known that we often hear the negative - or more accurately what we perceive as negative - much more loudly than the positive. 

And as such, because of her oversensitivity, I am now oversensitive. What a wonderful gift. ;)

I need to get back out and re-expand my social network. Both in physical presence and virtually. I have not been on Twitter much and have come close to closing out my Facebook account altogether because their privacy hypocrisies drive me nuts. At least with Twitter there is no illusion of privacy.  

Early on, I was told one way to generate attention, or at least to see that you have received attention is to make the post more interactive. So I am going to challenge you, in the comments, to come up with FREE no-cost ways to better occupy my days besides watching TV.  Note that I cannot volunteer or work for pay, the weather is often inclement, and transportation does cost money.  I can do some limited travel, and even though I do live near the SkyTrain, the cost to go downtown is not in my budget. My wife is supporting both of us on her one income until CIC says I can work, and my part is not spending any more money than I have to. 

I will pick one of the ideas contributed below and write a blog entry about what I do. 

Then I will have more to write about than just my wife and her side of the family. :)

Let's see where this new chapter takes us... 

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