... but some moments it is really clear that I lack grace.
I probably wrote about 10,000 or more words yesterday. I became unnecessarily enmeshed in a "political" blog (the topic was political and hot button) and spent WAY too much time trying to explain myself probably without much success.
I was supposed to be writing for work - and I did eventually do that, too - and then I blogged a really long blog entry, e-mailed many, (did a lot of things specifically to put off the work writing, but I did ultimately do it) and then had a nice long chat with a new friend.
At one point in the conversation, she asks me a direct question about herself wondering if I would describe her using a certain complimentary adjective. (Fill in the blank, like Mad Libs, and see what hilarious options YOU can come up with...).
My keyboard or my fingers or both had been messing up all night, and I was frankly quite frustrated with that, but that isn't what tied my fingers in knots. (Nor did they EXACTLY get tied in nuts, but given my stumbling around (very ungraceful-like) response I kinda wish they had gotten tied in knots so I'd have had some excuse).
To be clear, I had no problem flattering her, and so to respond affirmatively to her question should have been an easy no-brainer. It only takes a few seconds, particularly for my speedy fingers to type the word, "Sure."
But no--o-o-o-o somewhere earlier in the day God or some other higher power decided that I was going to have to do EVERYTHING the hard way that day, and this poor unfortunate soul was the victim of that.
If it were possible to stutter with fingers, I did.
It was not pretty. It was not whatever complimentary adjective she MIGHT have used to describe me before I stumbled all over myself.
It was because she chose a very common simple word that easily was and should be in my vocabulary and I should then, as a reasonably educated person who passed the fourth grade, be able to identify what traits qualify and answer, again, quickly with a "Sure".
But no-o-o-o-o-oooooo. Despite managing to "woo" her figuratively and make her think I was this wise, confident, competent funny square-shaped being (ah, I had her fooled!), I blew that image quite quickly.
I realized that my difficulty was that it wasn't a word I typically used in conversation. I, honestly, did not seem to appear to know how to use that word in a sentence. Power of speech - even speech through fingers - evaporated and I couldn't figure out how to formulate a sentence with that adjective.
Frankly I NEEDED Mad Libs to help me form a sentence, since even Mad Libs knows adjectives can be used to modify nouns. Just fill in this blank that has the word [adjective] underneath it and you've now used the word correctly in a sentence.
I had many synonyms, and was quick to try and substitute them in for my awkward inability to use a simple word... but not until after I dug myself this real deep hole (the dog did help... she started it in the front yard, I just crawled in it and dug a few more feet) and tried to shovel my way out of it.
Mmm... the taste of shoe leather before bed is quite delicious...
So, um, you may think I smell sweet, but one adjective you won't often use to describe me would be "graceful".