I do believe that depression can be chemical.
Because it is a beautifully sunny day, I have a job (two actually), a roof over my head, food in the fridge, functioning car, mostly functioning body, and nothing, really, to be depressed about.
No, my life isn't perfect, and if I wanted to be a drama queen - which I don't - I could create another list of circumstances about my life that might even make you depressed, but I won't.
Because I don't honestly believe they are the issue.
I am not wasting much if any of my energy worrying or even thinking about those things. Because I do have faith that they will all work out.
And I definitely have moments of happiness and enjoyment in my daily life. I smile and laugh often.
I rarely wake up - whether in the morning or from a nap - feeling "refreshed". Ready to jump on what is next. Usually, I want to snuggle in a little deeper to my cocoon and go back to sleep. I want to feel surrounded by the warmth of my blanket and stay there snug and secure.
I lack drive. Something to look forward to, something to motivate me, something to work towards.
My life just is. And I feel wrong for expecting and wanting more because I imagine this is what life is for most of us. It just is.
But I am in a funk, no less...
No comments:
Post a Comment