Sunday, July 8, 2012

Rant, Amish Sex Swingers...and big boobs!

I'll warn you now, I'm gonna rant.  Which isn't what I want to do.  What I want to do is be more excited over how many people are finding my blog.  Including one soul today who typed in "Amish Sex Swingers" into Google and found me.  And on a Sunday! Tsk, tsk... ;) 

I'd much rather write about how exciting I am about how popular my blog is becoming, and that people are actually searching for it by name.  Someone in the last 24 hours or so actually searched for "borgblog resistance is futile."

Because, really, resistance is futile. 

Now, I need more of you to hit the 'share this' on the Facebook and Twitter buttons over there on the right... Yeah, that's right, just up a little.  But maybe not for this post.  Because I thought I was gonna rant, and that might not be a good first impression for first time readers...

Oh, if you're a first time reader... please don't judge me on this alone.  Usually I'm nicer.. less rantier.. some even say funny...

(True.. I haven't started ranting yet.. already, I'm turning my frown upside down...)

If I were to rant, and I might still do so, it would actually be the third post inspired by this particular person.  We'll call him Tom because frankly I don't know any Toms, and so hopefully I won't actually insult anyone I know.  If your name is Tom, this isn't about you.  You're safe.

If you want to know the other two posts, they are "Buttons" and "Trigger People" (except now I can't find that post even though I SWEAR I wrote it....??).

And I know, really, that while I'd like to lay all of this raw irritated emotion at his feet and at his responsibility, I know that it is mine to deal with.  So rather than respond to the e-mail I got about a half hour ago, and make the problem worse, I am reaching out to the wider social networking universe, instead.  Because I can't piss you off because this isn't about you. (Today!)

Ironically, one of today's readings spoke directly to my problem.  This is from the second letter of Paul to the Corinthians "Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated." 

OMG.  When that passage was read this morning, I immediately thought of Tom (there's even a note in my bulletin now, in case I forgot, with his name next to it).  And this was before he'd done anything grievous today.  (Don't worry, he eventually did.  He always does.  It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when).

I want so badly to respond to his e-mail.  I want so badly to spell out clearly how wrong he is and what an ass he is. 

(Hee hee, just checked twitter.  Another confession coming in.. "I like girls with big boobs!"  See you guys rock .. hard to rant when people are sharing important things like that with you.. and wanting to find Amish sex swingers...)

I know that I have a choice with Tom.  It's not one that makes me feel good about myself, frankly.  I can be right, show him and tell him I'm right and drive him right out of our church.  And sadly, I am ashamed to admit, there are several members of the church who would pat me on the back in appreciation for doing that.  And I think I'm close to having accomplished that, whether intentional or not.  After I've snapped at him, he's gotten pretty quick at leaving.

I am ashamed to admit that there is a part of me that would like to see that happen.  That thinks things would be easier without him - heck KNOWS that things would be easier without him.  But then I think of two things. 

First, what would it be like to not feel welcome in your church?  Is that something I want to make him feel?  On the one hand, I've already admitted (here, and to myself) that his presence makes me not want to go on Sundays, but do I *really* want to be the reason someone else feels that they can't go to their house of worship?  No.

The second is a post a friend wrote recently about being bullied that broke my heart having read it.  And I can't help but wonder in this situation, if I'm not being a bully? 

Man, that sucks... Can we go back to talking about big boobs and Amish Sex Swingers, please?

I wrote in my post "History in the Making" that we are quick to label ourselves the hero or the victims in our stories when we tell them.  But really, in this story, if I made him leave, would I really be a hero?  No.  And while he irritates the bejesus out of me, am I really a victim? (I wanna be able to answer, "yes", but I know the answer is) No.

Someone wrote on Twitter (it happens probably every thirty seconds or so, even if you're not following the person who tweeted - and like that tree that falls in the forest if no-one is around to hear, it still falls...) being an adult sucks. 

Yes.  Sometimes it does.  Resistance is futile.  Big boobs are nice.  And, sorry, there are no Amish Sex Swingers here, but there is some funny stuff.  And some not so funny stuff. 

3 comments:

  1. Yes, you are human. Humans have negative feelings sometimes, occasionally about other humans! And sometimes we act (or react) out of hurt, fear, anger, or just plain stupidity. Being aware of how our actions affect others is HUGE. It doesn't always guarantee we'll make the best choices, but it's a good thing to be aware of.
    So the question here, I suppose, is how can you hold your place and have your needs met while giving him respect at the same time? Borg.

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    1. Good questions that I have spent the week mulling over. Progress sometimes comes in small increments.

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  2. Finally found it! I was right, there was another post called "Trigger People" http://theborgblogger.blogspot.com/2012/02/trigger-people.html

    I am NOT crazy!

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