Saturday, June 2, 2012

Dating rules.. for friends...

I watch too much TV.  We've established that.  So I was watching some sitcom - and I think it's How I Met Your Mother - and the main character - and I believe it was Ted, so we'll go with that - makes a "fatal" mistake with a new person he's dating.

Of course, it's Barney who points this out.  And whether or not, in real life, we should take any advice about life from Barney is, well, questionable.  Because he's a TV character.  And a TV character with questionable morals.  But that's beside the point.

Anyway, Ted makes arrangements to do something well in advance, or is asked to do something well in advanced (like go to a wedding, or some trip or something). And Barney's rule of thumb is that you don't make plans with a girl farther ahead in time than the amount of time you've known her.

If you've been going out a month, you don't make plans for two months in advance.  If you've only been dating for three months, you don't make plans for six months out, etc., etc.  At first that seems silly.  Until you put it into practice.  Or don't as the case may be.

Last night (early this morning) I wrote about a somewhat recent friendship in Hot and Cold.  When we first started hanging out, we got along like gang-busters.  I felt like I had found my new local best friend in her.  I was excited and carefree and forgot this rule of thumb.  After all, it applies to people dating. This is just a friend.  And so, only about a month into really hitting off this friendship, I asked her if she wanted to be my assistant coach for a soccer team I begin coaching at the end of July.  She was excited and interested.  Sure.  Seems all good and great.

Until we hit the cold cycle.  And then I wonder if she'll even be around for coaching the kids, and if I should be scouting for back-ups.  And, I admit, it prevents me from walking away completely.  Because we have this outstanding commitment and I don't want to be pissy towards her and have her be pissy towards me while we're trying to coach.  I don't THINK that will happen, but then, I didn't predict the cold phases, either.  So-o-o... sticky situation (she types while licking the chocolate off her fingers from her leftovers from celebrating National Donut day yesterday.. sorry, got distracted..)

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  1. I hate dealing with advance plans after a breakup. I got stuck with a Groupon for a class I was planning to take with someone I was seeing. I thought about asking someone else to join me, but that seemed weird so I just ate it.

  2. Replies
    1. It's kinda hard when you've made plans far in advance!! Eek!

  3. Shockingly, soccer practice has begun, and she bailed. Good rule of thumb to remember moving forward...